#MeToot & the Bloodhound Gang

As I have taken aim over the last few weeks and fired my Daisy BB gun at the #MeToot shrine of holy victimhood, I have had a few folks wonder why I have taken such a negative view towards the whole thing. Isn’t it good that some real abuses are being exposed and trapped women have come out of the shadows? Why not recognize that it’s a big mixed bag with some good folks and some bad folks and just be thankful for the good that’s coming from it?

You mean like Trump when he defended the white nationalists in Charlottesville, saying there were “some very fine people on both sides?” I ask, while pumping my gun three more times, squinting down the barrel, lining up that little notch with that little V, pulling my trigger, and listening for that delightful plink of metal on metal.

But seriously. Why not rejoice in the good and reject the evil? Shouldn’t a Christian pastor rejoice even if one woman was set free by the #MeToot movement? Let me see. The answer is no. Absolutely not. Never. Not in a million years. Nope. Nada (that’s Spanish for Hell, no.).

Why?

The reason is that Christians must not worship idols. “Little children, keep yourself from idols” (1 Jn. 5:21). There, isn’t that enough?

Ok, let’s do a little word play here. Should a Christian rejoice if even one woman was set free by Zeus? Should a Christian rejoice if even one woman was set free by Baal? Should a Christian rejoice if even one woman was set free by Asherah, Aphrodite, or Molech? No. Never. Nope. Absolutely not. Nada.

Why? Because none of those false gods and idols can set any woman free ever. None of those false gods and idols ever lifted a finger to help any woman ever. They were always, continuously, forever dead set on the perpetuation of the abuse of women. That’s what idols do: they deform the human beings who make them and serve them (Ps. 115:8). Idols always abuse their worshippers. But you can be sure that they always advertised their services as “healthy” and “humane” and “progressive” and “liberating” and “empowering.” That’s how idols always work.

But, you say, #MeToot is not a false god or an idol. It’s just a loose movement, a diverse conversation, a hashtag on social media trying to spread awareness of how widespread the sexual abuse of women is. Right, that grew out of what exactly? Where’d it come from?

There we were slaughtering babies to Molech the monster god of feminism and scraping and bowing to sodomites and self-mutilated transgendered eunuchs and all their effeminate initiates (our new priestly caste), with a multi-gazillion dollar porn industry flourishing online and sex shops, sex robots, strip clubs, and every other sexual perversion pimped out in every major city on every major cable network, and you’re telling me that somebody suddenly looked up, covered in blood and semen and said, “Wait, but what about the women?” As a tear slowly rolled down his cheek?

Ha. Double ha. Belly laugh.

In order for #MeToot to do the slightest good in the world there would have to be widespread, ahem, what shall we call it? Repentance. But what we are seeing currently is nothing even remotely resembling repentance. Sure, it’s a sham repentance. Harvey Weinstein and the few other high profile targets are scapegoats, false sacrifices meant to appease the mobs, er um, I mean dogs. I mean… Final answer: gods. Whatever. But the whole point is to keep the industries of abuse fully functioning all while serving up platitudes of moral virtue. The gods always promised success, prosperity, victory, happiness, but there was always that little, teeny, itsy-bitsy thing they required: blood. Will Jennifer Lawrence be applauded for a violent pornographic scene, all while claiming to be empowered? Oh right. I guess so. There you go. When #MeToot has done it’s work, we will have women being abused and calling it empowerment. They will thank the gods for being raped. It’s what the idols always do.

Should Christians speak out against sexual assault and mistreatment of women? Of course. Yes. Absolutely. Should the authorities be called when crimes have been committed? Absolutely. Every time. Should creeps be fired? Yep. Should the unrepentant be excommunicated? You bet. Should we go easy on men who mistreat women? Absolutely not. But all of this, mark my words carefully: is because men and women are created in the image of the Triune God, because His law is fixed forever in the Bible, because His Christ suffered, bled, and died, condemning all evil in His flesh, including the mistreatment of women, and rose from the dead triumphant over all of it. This is the fixed standard, the only standard, the only rock that is strong enough to withstand the storms of public opinion, the mobs, the false gods, the money-power, the politicians, the media. All other ground is sinking sand.

So why do I object to #MeToot? Why not see it as a welcome breath of fresh air in the midst of this wicked world? Why not hijack this movement for the gospel? Well, I really would be fully on board with an actual hijacking. But so far, I’ve seen no hijacking and only Christians being muddled, foolish, and getting hijacked.

At best, #MeToot is a shrine to the unknown goddess in the American pantheon. Over there is Aphrodite, she’s organizing the next Sports Illustrated pornsuit issue. On the other wall, you will see Mars keeping military men empowered with sexual guilt. And down the hall, you’ll find shrines to money-sex, academia-sex, and one of the more popular, is a gigantic, shiny mirror, the god Demos, the will of the people to always have sex. But over here in this corner you find this pert little altar to an unknown goddess, named #MeToot. (Sorry, she has gas.)

It’s an unknown goddess because we don’t know why it’s wrong to mistreat women. If Darwin is right and Freud was right and Kinsey was right and Hugh Hefner was right and The Shape of Water and Call Me By Your Name won Oscars this year, why should anyone do anything other than what the urges inside them tell them to do? In the immortal words of one of your own prophets, the Bloodhound Gang, “You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals; So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.” Which come to think of it is probably coercive, manipulative, and violent. But hey, survival of the fittest, baby.

So do I think Christians could stand, like Paul did on the Areopagus, and proclaim Jesus Christ to the pagans who are sick and tired of women being treated like crap? Yes, I do. But that would be to take on all of the false gods at the same time. Paul did not stand up there and try to start a conversation with all the pagans. He did not stammer or stutter. He said God made the heavens and the earth and isn’t contained in idols made by men with gold or silver, and then he said that God had appointed Jesus to judge the world and everyone everywhere needs to repent. That’s what hijacking would look like. It would mean calling the Hollywood and New York elites and all the red state hillbillies in between to repent of abortion, transgenderism, homosexuality, all prostitution, adultery, and fornication. And let’s be clear, this is no “abortion juke,” this isn’t a rhetorical sleight trying to force some kind of false dichotomy. No, the point is straight up the middle. The single greatest act of sexual abuse being perpetrated on American women today is abortion. Period. Full stop. For someone to say they want to talk about sexual abuse and then say that abortion is off the table — that is the juke.

The fact that abortion and homosexuality and prostitution and porn are not at the center of the #MeToot movement tells you all you need to know.

And they have healed the brokenness of My people superficially, Saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ But there is no peace. Were they ashamed because of the abomination they have done? They were not even ashamed at all; They did not even know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; At the time that I punish them, They shall be cast down,” says the LORD. (Jer. 6:14-15)

This is what #MeToot offers: bandaids for cancer. But are they ashamed of transgender mutilations? Are they ashamed of the millions of babies sacrificed to convenience? Are they ashamed of their bodies bought and sold on pornhub as sex slaves? No. They do not even know how to blush.

And you better believe that if someone prominent were to stand up and list those root sins as directly related to what the #MeToot movement needs to address, they would be shouted down and shut up as quick as a politician would tell a lie. This tells you what the goals and aims of this movement are: to make a bunch of people feel moral and zealous and virtuous all while perpetuating all of the same abusive industries that are destroying women’s lives every day. The whole #MeToot movement is a sham. It is an idolatrous sham. I will not give #MeToot credit for anything good. #MeToot can save no one, change no one, help no one. She has no eyes, no ears, no mouth, no hands. It is an idol. The heart of idolatry is always trying to trick some kind of virtue, some kind of salvation into existence without reference to the Triune God, but that’s impossible and it always perpetuates abuse of its victims.

If any woman has really been delivered from abuse, all praise goes to Christ, our only God and Savior. He was crucified, buried, and rose again. He triumphed over all evil.

So I’ll be over here all day long with my Daisy BB gun.