Parenting as Coaching

In Ephesians 6, it says that fathers are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The word for nurture is the word “paideia,” which means “culture.” Christian parents are commanded by God to bring up our children in the culture of Christ. 

But think about what culture is: it includes teaching, but it’s tons of doing with love and joy and decorations and treats. How do you bring your children up in the culture of Christmas? You talk about, you make it fun, you enjoy it together. Or what about the culture of your favorite sport or hobbies? You talk about it a lot with enthusiasm. You practice. You make time. 

So Christian faith is to be like that. Parents are the coaches or team captains. And your kids are the team. This means lots of practicing all the plays. Are you practicing for church during the week? Do you practice sitting still for short periods? Do you practice singing? Do you practice saying the Creed and the doxology and lifting hands? 

Prepare your kids to succeed. Talk to them about what temptations they will face ahead of time. How should they respond if someone takes their favorite toy? What if you have people over for dinner? How do you want them to respond? Do you want them to say thank you when they are given something? Practice those plays.  

Is their first response to instructions whining or cheerful obedience? Practice giving instructions and a cheerful response: require immediate, cheerful obedience. Show them how. Act it out. Run the plays before you’re at the park or grocery store or church. Practice, practice, practice – before the game. And lots of cheers for obedience, high fives, and talking about it later, maybe even some prizes or treats for really good plays. 

Of course, God requires that parents use the rod of correction when children are being defiantly disobedient. God requires parents to require obedience of our children. And obedience is right away, all the way, and cheerful. But make sure you are preparing your kids to obey. Make sure you’re giving them regular opportunities to practice that obedience, so that you know that they know how to do it and what is required. God is good, and His ways are good. And this is the culture of Christ.