One of our community’s favorite metrical psalm settings is Psalm 128:
“Blessed the man who fears Jehovah
And that walketh in His ways
Thou shalt eat of thy hand’s labor
And be prospered all thy days
Like a vine with fruit abounding
In thy house, thy wife is found
And like olive plants thy children
Compassing thy table round.”
The thing I want to point out is that this Psalm connects the blessing of God with the fear of God. And the picture of that blessing is a table full of people and rejoicing. The Psalm actually continues to underline that point: “Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord” (Ps. 128:4). And the blessing is the good of Jerusalem and seeing thy children’s children and peace upon Israel. The fear of God is the foundation of fearless hospitality.
The fear of the Lord is not a vague feeling or sentiment. It’s a very concrete thing. In Genesis, when the fear of God was not in one place, Abraham was seriously concerned that they might murder him and take his wife. The fear of God honors life and marriage. Later, when Abraham was commanded to sacrifice Isaac, his only son, on the mountain, the angel stopped him and said, “Now I know you fear God.” The fear of the Lord is fiercely obedient to the commands of the Lord. And Jacob understood this so well that he simply called God the “fear of his father Isaac.”
But it’s striking that this was not servile terror or dread, since throughout the lives of the patriarchs, God was also coming to them regularly and saying “fear not.” “Fear not, Abram; I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward” (Gen. 15:1). And to Isaac: “Fear not, I am with thee, and will bless thee, and multiply thy seed for my servant Abraham’s sake” (Gen. 26:24). And when Jacob had heard that his son Joseph was still alive, God said, “fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation” (Gen. 46:3).
This combination continues throughout the rest of Scripture. God’s faithful fear Him and obey Him, and He repeatedly assures them not to fear and blesses them. The midwives feared God and did not obey Pharaoh’s command to expose the Hebrew baby boys, and God blessed their houses (Ex. 1:21). They feared God and so they were fearless and received God’s blessing. But the converse is also true: those who fear man or the world disobey God and lose His blessing. So for example, when Saul offered the sacrifice without Samuel, he says, “I feared the people, and obeyed their voice” (1 Sam. 15:24). And the kingdom was torn from Saul.
The fear of God puts everything in its place, like setting the table for a great feast: So Peter says, “Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.” And in Ephesians 5 right before God gives specific instructions to husbands and wives, Paul writes, “submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21). This is sometimes construed as some kind of bland, egalitarian “mutual submission.” But Paul isn’t saying everyone submits to everyone in some vague way. What would that even mean? No, Paul means that everyone should submit to one another based on the order that God has established in the world. Fear God and fulfill your station, and then he goes on to explain that: husbands, wives, children, servants.
But the fear of man is a snare (Prov. 29:25). The fear of man bungles all of this. Saul submitted to the people and disobeyed God and the nation descended into turmoil. Adam submitted to his wife and disobeyed God and death and suffering came into the world. Sapphira went along with the lie of her husband and disobeyed God and they were destroy. The fear of man is a snare. But the fear of God sets us free. The fear of God puts everything in its place, like a feasting table full of people and joy.
So Andrew, my charge to you is fear God and love your wife fearlessly. Men naturally tend to respect one another, and so men often treat their wives with respect and then wonder why it’s not going so well. The answer is that a wife does not appreciate being treated like one of your buddies. She does not want to be treated like a man. But the fear of God teaches you to dwell with your wife in an understanding way, honoring her, thinking of her needs, and leading her in every way to flourish as a woman and a co-heir of the grace of life with you. This is the difference between living by faith and living in fear. You cannot fear what anyone else thinks, that is only a snare. You must care fundamentally only about what God thinks. Loving your wife well is imitating the love of Christ, which is sacrificial. Christ died for you, so that you may lay your life down for Meagan.
Meagan, my charge for you is similar but from the other side: fear God and respect your husband fearlessly. Just as men are tempted to merely respect their wives, wives are often tempted to merely love their husbands. We tend to give to one another what we most naturally would prefer to receive. But God says that you must respect your husband. Look up to him, think highly of his abilities, wisdom, accomplishments, and say so out loud. Think about how you can help him in accomplishing his goals and mission. This is the fear of God for you, and it will set you free. Do not fear anything or anyone else – that will only be a snare for you, causing worry and anxiety. Think fundamentally about what God thinks. And the center of this must be the great glory of imitating the Church’s obedience to Christ. We obey Christ because He has loved us and given Himself for us. And the Bible says, wives, submit to your own husbands like that.
And as you both fear the Lord, your house will be greatly blessed. It will have a table at the center that is full of people, full of joy, and full of blessing, everything in its place – a glorious testimony to the goodness and hospitality of God in Christ Jesus.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
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